I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
