Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
