I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize