theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
