none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I can tuck mytits in my pants
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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