Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
