My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
