His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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