Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
