i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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