Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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