Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
