It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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