so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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