the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
