Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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