I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
