your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
