Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
