u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
