i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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