he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
50% drunk capacity currently
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
