I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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