She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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