that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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