ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
