How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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