Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
