This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
