That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
