if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
