I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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