My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
