Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
