Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
