please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
where does the pee come out of this thing
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
