Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
