found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
