We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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