paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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