i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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