I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
