New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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