I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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