didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
