you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
