PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
