We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
