I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
