amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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