well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
