Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
