I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
