How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
