this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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