You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
