i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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