Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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