stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
