mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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