You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
