Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
