We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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