Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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