Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
