He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
