im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
