Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
