It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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