I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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