I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
