Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize